VH1 Behind the Man:


Ray “Bones” Ramirez


November 17, 2003


Madness, Mayhem and Social Delusion


Excerpt: “I was first invited to the Fox headquarters because of my devilishly good looks and modest personality, ahem, for an interview for a new show. The shows plot was a mystery to me, as the only information that I knew of was in the flyer that I had received a week before. Though many of my friends told me that I was “being set up” and “had no chance of making the show because they wanted to blow up their applicant pool”, I knew that it was different for me—I mean just last month Old Man McKleary was told that he won almost 11 million dollars in the mail if his number was drawn. Those are my kind of odds.


As a gambling man I have dabbled with the likes of winning and losing. I don’t necessarily have good luck, but I’d say that I’ve come out on top in the big picture. High school was definitely one of my down slopes in life. For whatever reason the other kids at school didn’t seem to cherish the great works of Boy George and Prince like I did, but that didn’t stop me because of Boy George’s memorable quote that really hit me in the heart, “I can do anything. In GQ, I appeared as a man”. What a guy. So when the bullies in school, especially Jason Schilling -- jerk extraordinaire -- would pull my long, flowing and perfectly sculpted mullet, I would reach deep down to keep face and not let them break my spirit. “But what’s a mullet doing on a guy that listens to Prince and Boy George you might ask”, this mullet is making him the idol of the ladies because he does not follow any stereotypes; a natural born renegade I tells you.


My life has had many upsides as well. For example, I began working as a painter for a company called Cook painters a few years back. These guys were jamoke’s to say the least. They painted walls without sanding them or taping off the base, didn’t remove the hinges and made a freaking mess everywhere. Needless to say I fit right in with their work ethic. But, as one might imagine the company went under and I was seeking employment elsewhere. On the jobsites, I was able to make some relationships with the other subcontractors, which helped me get hooked up with Reising Drywall. This was a big step for me because now I was painting and dry walling, which not only upped my paycheck, but the level of respect that I received. What does a bit of respect on the jobsite mean? It means “F you Jason Schilling”!


The work thing has really been working out for me well though, being able to support myself and all. Yeah, I still live at my mom’s, but she’s cool and never bother’s me when I’m trying to put the moves on the ladays—or she’d probably leave me alone if that ever happened… But my car is a sweet 1968 Chevy Impala. That should put it all into perspective. True it’s sitting on cinder blocks because it’s missing 3 of the 4 wheels, has rust damage to over 80 percent of the exterior body and has no engine and transmission to speak of, but it is still sweet to talk about. I am willing to bet that the fact that I own this car is the reason that Fox has offered me a position on their new reality show, not the sweet job, wicked bachelor pad, or even my gun, but the car is what has made it.


I grab my chauffer to take me down town to let me get the lay of the land before I jump to any conclusions with this reality show thing and as we’re nearing the building, I see like fifty people heading into it too—guy’s with suits even! So I tell my mom to give it some gas so I can beat these walking fools and get in line before them. I make it into the door and see people walking through the metal detector like it’s a freaking