TURSKA-worshipping throughout the times
(Käännetty suomesta englantiin)


The belief of TURSKA was born at the year 666, at the fjord of Turskaskogen, in the village of Small-Codila. The people believed in TURSKA as the only real god, because of the ancient cave-paintings, that described his might. In the year 1024, the first public roads to the fjords were completed, and the religion began to spread. In the dark ages the TURSKA-worshippers were assailed because of their great musical talent. The most well-known TURSKA-worshippers were Varg, Dead and Euronymous. They pillaged hundreds of small villages and whilst fighting, they sang the theme song of the TURSKA-worshippers: “TURSKA on jees.”


At the industrializational period the cult of TURSKA-worship was suddenly discovered again.


According to the X-Files, many of the era’s great inventors were involved in secret societies, in which TURSKA-worship was very common. TURSKA-worship also played a big part in the second world war, because one of the most widely known worshippers was Hitler himself. He tried to get the birth-place of TURSKA-worship under his reign. The main reason of the fall of the third reich was that Hitler’s belief in TURSKA was starting to tremble. Naturally, TURSKA did not tolerate such a thing. After this incident, the TURSKA-worship lay forgotten for several decades.


About six months ago a rumour began to spread on the internet, according to which a group of TURSKA-worshippers had gathered on a certain chat-channel. Naturally, this is only an undetermined rumour, which no-one of the possible investigators had returned to confirm. Were they converted, or did they get a new identity, job and a place to live? Go find out yourself. Good night.


Sources:


http://koti.mbnet.fi/boloh/turska/palvonta.txt - The original text


http://koti.mbnet.fi/boloh/turska/ - The home of TURSKA-worship


http://www.sunpoint.net/~pahojahommia/ - Some TURSKA-inspired fine literature


Ps. “Pahoja hommia” seems to be under construction.