Satirical Letter

Satirical Letter: We ought to all send our kids into the public schooling system. (The public education system is creating identical automatons of children)

Dear Current Education Minister (whomever you may now be),

I am a parent who has heard so much good news about public schooling, how all the students are so nice, well-educated, and “normal”.

I, myself am a father of three, I realise that the public schooling system will be very good for them, but most importantly myself! Currently, they fight with each other; they all want to be “special”, but a busy parent like I cannot possibly care to make out the differences between them, because they are all just children anyway.

With your system, I won’t need to cater for the children’s different needs, because they won’t have them anymore. There will be no more thinking to myself, “Now, what’s Johnny’s favourite for dinner?” Seeing as they’ll have no favourites, just in case the other dinners feel left out by their preference.

I recently heard that public schooling is a very politically correct affair, with all the children being nice and… well, nice! It’s good that you are taking out all the flavours of the children’s lives, because heaven forbid, they may suddenly turn into cursing machines which may eventually wish to advocate individuality, and we all know how troublesome that may be.

I feel it is great that public schools class sizes are at their lowest, this way, all the jocks can form a tighter group and the losers also. This would amplify bullying by so much! I don’t really care what group my kids will be in, because sooner or later, both groups will eventually meld into a company of droning automatons.

It’s great that my children won’t need to worry about adversity, because there won’t be if everyone’s the same. Everyone will be nice, normal and polite, with no conflicting thoughts.

Although, I doubt that their politically correct cacophony of monotone will be very educated, as being a product of a cruder, less correct generation of public education, I am horribly undereducated, I still remember clearly that the teacher in grade 6 who taught all my subjects taught me that spelling, grammar and word usage don’t matter, just as long as the other person understands what you’re trying to say.

She also taught us maths, and that what we don’t need in the supermarket, we don’t need to learn. I firmly believe that, because I haven’t had to use what those longwinded private school teachers drone on about.

Since the future does consist of robots, let’s start creating automatons right away! There would be no need for any diversity in the future, as we’ll all be normal, just the way we were taught to be in our state schools.

You’re ignorant citizen,

I. P. Freely