My Trip to Mexico


I woke up early in the morning, it was a Saturday. Christmas was coming soon but I didnít care much because I was going to Mexico. I was pissed off because I had to be on the goddamn plane at eight in the morning. I was tired as hell and my worst nightmare was sitting next to a crying baby when I did get on the plane. All I wanted was two more hours of sleep. Before we ever got on the plane we were waiting on the goddamn cab driver to get to our house. The dumb guy got lost and showed up almost an hour late. We got a phone call from the cab company saying my cab would be there in five minutes. That was a lie, twenty five minutes later the dumb ass showed up and what a surprise he couldnít speak English. So we get in the cab and tell the guy to hurry. He was going to take the longest damn way possible to get to the airport just so the son of a bitch would get paid more. My father and I quickly stopped him and make the idiot go the fastest way. So we finally arrive at the airport almost an hour late. The flight was supposed to leave at nine and we showed up at the airport at 8:40. We were racing like hell to get on the flight, which wasnít hard considering all the security stops and all that crap. We did get on the plane though; our plane was delayed for about 2 hours before the damn pilot took off. We didnít receive a fax from Las Vegas that I guess was pretty important in order to take off. So we waited and waited for this damn fax. When we finally took off we were supposed to be in Mexico. But everyone was happy we finally left.


We arrived in Mexico about two and a half hours after take off. We landed in Puerta Vallarta and it seemed like everyone in my family had to have their bags searched. So our bus almost left us, we were so pissed off nobody said a word until we got to our hotel. When we got checked in my brother and I went and ordered a goddamn beer. We then went to our room which was hotter than hell itself, but it was ok because we ordered those beers. We stayed at the hotel for about three or four hours after that. We just drank beer after beer until we were drunk enough to go clubbing. We went to this bar in downtown Puerta Vallarta and had this pretty waitress. She came over with a bottle of what tasted to be puckers. She sat on my goddamn lap and started pouring shot after shot down my throat. I was so damn drunk after that I donít recall much else. She then put her boobs in my face and pinched my nipples. Then she did the same to my brothers. We thought she was going to give us the bottle for free but then the woman brings us a bill for 400 pesos. We were so pissed off and we didnít bring that much money so we ended up walking about 3 miles back to our hotel. That walk was long as hell but funny as hell. On the way back we ran into a crazy son of a bitch who was offering us prostitutes and weed and what not. We declined all offers of course, except one when he gave us a ticket for free admission into the local strip club.


The second day I woke up and felt like a damn train ran over my head then reversed back over my head. That didnít stop me one bit though. I went and ate breakfast then managed to hobble to the bar and order a round of margaritas. We drank and drank the beer and margaritas all day until we decided to go jet skiing. We were pretty damn wobbly and it was hot as hell so it felt good to get in the ocean. We jet skied for a