Men and Women Communications





March 22, 2004


Human Communication


Men and women comm


What would the world be like if men and women didn’t communicate. It would be one strange place. Men and Women communicate with each other much differently than communicating amongst their same sex. Have you ever wondered why it’s ok for women to hold hands but not for men. You would think that males and females grew up on totally different planets because they are so different in more than just physical ways. Each see things in their own ways and do things the way they like them done. This was easily seen in the class exercise we did with what we liked and disliked about the opposite sex. It was easier to think about flaws then things we liked. The flaws often had to do with the way we communicated and had conversation with the opposite sex.


In dealing with communication, there are two key elements of connection between men and women. There is an intimacy connection, which deals with friendships and trying to reach consensus on things. There is also an independence key, which deals with status and giving or taking orders. Men tend to focus on the independent aspect and women veer towards the intimacy aspect. If a certain situation came up, each sex would have their own view on how to handle it. For instance, when I went to a Red Sox game last year, we had very bad seats way in the back. My dad and I decided to move down to the front section, were we could see well. There was no roof in that section to block the sun. We made the decision to move down without even asking my mom if she minded sitting in the sun. My mom was a little upset because we eventually made her sit in the sun. Maybe she wanted to talk about it and come up with consensus where to sit. We hesitated to ask the female because it might have implied we have little independence to act on our own. We thought it would be implied that she would trust us.


Women rely more on friendships and networking. This is seen when women go to the bathroom. You often see multiple women go at once and talk to each other. You never see a man go with other men, making them more independent. Men are also much more likely to keep to themselves. Women are generally more talkative than men. We talked about how women like to talk on the phone much more than guys do. Women like to share stories and events when asked, where guys just like to be plain and simple and just get the main point across. Men and women frame things differently. If my girlfriend were to ask me “where do you want to eat tonight?” I would think that she was asking me to choose. She is really only asking for my opinion and input so we could come to a consensus. At that point, I would think it’s my role to pick a place.


Certain messages can help frame a conversation. Metamessages helps someone determine what the other is saying by identifying what is going on. It might be in means of an argument, a simple chat or helping someone. Often, our reactions to what others say or do can be sparked by how we feel we are going to be framed. If my girlfriend seemed upset, and I asked if she were ok, she would identify that I am caring and willing to see what is wrong. You would never see a man walk up to another man and say “oh, I love those pants you are wearing, were did you get them”. It would however, be very routine to hear it from a female. Women strive for more complements then men do. I think women want more compliments because it makes them feel better and more important than other women. Women seem to always be comparing themselves to others.


People learn how to talk and have conversations when they are young. They learn from their parents and from their peers. Boys hang around in groups that are hierarchically structured. They have