Love In Today\'s Society

Steve Carey


A key to understanding Sociology and the Social Sciences in general is
to evaluate subjects through time and compare and contrast characteristics that
have changed and those that have remained the same. For this assignment I have
elected to access three sources dealing with love; in three distinct time
periods in the modern era. First we will survey one of the first popular
mediums for the expression of love; that of poetry. I have chosen a poem by W.H.
Auden to represent the early portion of this century- specifically the 1930s and
1940s. I knew I had to include a song from my idol Jim Morrison. Not only is
he the perfect voice of the volatile sex revolution of the 1960s and 1970s; his
work captures the profile of a rock star who undoubtedly acquired his
domineering attitude from the endless worship of submissive women. Lastly we
enter the modern era with a article from my favorite magazine Men\'s Health on
the mistakes a man must avoid in order to please his lover. As we shall see,
the increased freedom is very interesting in our first representation to the
last. My goal is to show how love has changed. I hope to show what is accepted
in our society today, compared with only several decades ago.


My sources run the gamut of ideas in the subject of love. I think
Auden\'s poem is the best representation of what has been termed “courtly love.”
This seems logical, since this Romantic Era type of love was a pre-cursor to
what we know as modern love. The author takes the troubadour role in his
crooning style of praising his love\'s qualities. He idealizes his mate and is
satisfied just being in the same room as she. There are not any ulterior motives
evident. Auden would be categorized as a “heavenly lover,” in that his love is
more lofty and sacred. There is definite contrast to this idealism though. In
his last lines the author, without reservation tells of his sorrow at his loss
of her to another.
Morrison\'s Love Her Madly could almost be interpreted as a form of
limerance. He has this extreme fondness for his subject: “Don\'t ya love her
madly?” Anyone who knows the story of Jim Morrison knows that the topic of love
and all that comes with it was an integral facet of his being. He is a good
example of love in the context of a super-star entertainer. Morrison\'s songs,
and most others found in the entertainment world cannot compare with reality.
These people do not lead normal lives. Their depiction of such things as love
may even be accurate portrayals of their lives, but should not be taken to
represent society as a whole. Love was quite important to Morrison- provided
that he had it often and with different partners. One woman could never contain
his sexual urges. In this reality many sociological concepts are found.
Morrison cohabited with numerous women, mainly his life-long steady girlfriend
Pamela. Morrison\'s male domineering attitude is evident in his line "Wanna be
her daddy." While women were beginning to experience more equality during this
period, males were still seen as dominant. He does show signs of compassion
with his line: “Don\'t ya love her as she\'s walking out the door. Like
she did one thousand times before.” This shows that he was not as worried about “
being a man” as some may have thought. He lost his love once again and he is
not afraid to admit it. Even so, Morrison\'s primary style of love was
definitely “ludus.” He had no reservations about playing the field. Pre-
marital sex was easily brushed aside by Morrison in this era when society was
more accepting of “free love.”
Our Men\'s Health article is best understood by using the two gender\'s
sexual scripts- or blueprints of our sexuality, to sort out society\'s expected
roles. “50 Ways To Peeve Your Lover” does a decent job of informing men of the
mistakes that women recognize in their sexual demeanor. Due to sexual scripts
themselves, there are many learned behaviors and attitudes that men possess that
they have always known as “the best way.” Men, due to the fact that they are
less open to criticism and less willing to express their feelings, they are
more subject to doing things the wrong way and never even realizing it. No-noes
like squeezing a woman\'s breast because they think it turns her on, failing to
ask her questions during sex, not complementing her, and other forms of “
improper etiquette”