Long Distance Relationship and How To Make It Work


Dear Love Lady,

I have a love problem and I don\'t know what to do. I am a freshman in
college and so is my boyfriend. We have been together since our senior year in
high school, and we are very much in love. But, since we\'ve been at college, we
have developed a problem. We don\'t see each other from month to month. You see,
we go to colleges in completely different states. We have always lived on the
same street, but now we are so far apart. I don\'t even know if it will work, or
better yet how to make it work. Any advice? Sad and In Love, Atlanta, GA

Dear Sad and In Love,

Well, it sounds as if you have a great thing if you can just stick with
it. As a matter of fact, I have been in a situation just like yours. My
boyfriend and I had just the same problem back when we were in college, and we
made it work. We are now happily married with two beautiful children. So, I
think I can give you a few pointers on how to keep your love going. You are
going to have to have three important things to make it work though. Those
things are trust, communication and patience.
First and the most important, you and your boyfriend need to have trust
in each other. In every relationship there has to be trust, but for some reason,
in long-distance relationships, it seems like there has to be just a little
something more. Since you two are so far apart, you have to trust that the
other one only wants to be with you and no one else. What I would always do,
when I didn\'t know if I should do something that might be bad for our
relationship, is I would put myself on the other end of the situation. I would
pretend that it was my boyfriend doing it and then I would think of how I would
feel if he did it. If you would get upset about it, than 10 times out of 10 so
would he.
There has to be trust in every important relationship, a relationship
won\'t last if there are doubts on either end. Always trust that your boyfriend
is being honest with you and always be honest with him.
The next thing a long-distance relationship needs is communication.
Good communication is a MUST! You and your boyfriend have to have open lines of
communication. If something is bothering one of you, you must tell the other
how you are feeling. If you don\'t be open the other will never know what you
are thinking or if there is a problem. Unless of course you can read minds.
Just kidding! There shouldn\'t be secrets kept from one another and if there are
open communication lines, it will avoid any types of problems.
Another aspect of communication that is important is expressing your
feelings. If you are missing your boyfriend a lot one day, tell him. It will
make him feel good to know that you are thinking of him and need him. By
expressing your feelings, it will keep the relationship open and honest. And
also add a little excitement for the next time you get to see each other!
You may thin that it will be hard to communicate so far away, but in all
actuality, it might be easier. One of the most popular way loved ones keep in
touch is through the computer. Many colleges today have a system that is free
to students to send e-mail. Check it out if you haven\'t already! It is
sometimes easier to write your feelings rather than saying them. This is a very
effective, not to mention cheap, way to keep in touch with the one you love.
There is also writing letters and talking on the phone, but I strongly suggest
the e-mail option.
Finally, the last thing that you need to keep a relationship going is
good old fashioned patience. You won\'t be able to see each other often, but
stick with it. If you truly love each other, you will be able to get through
the times when you can\'t see each other. It is hard, believe me I know! But if
you hold on, it could turn into something very special.
I wish you the best of luck to you and your boyfriend. If you have
trust, communication and patience, I\'m