Life


I remember the last time the warm breeze poured from across the waters, up the concrete steps, and over the grass. It span wildly in the air as it caught wind and brushed past my face. I couldn\'t help but smile, despite what was going through my mind. How ironic that sounds right now. As a child I took an early appreciation of the trees and grass, of life in general... but nothing like I did at that reawakened moment. It was all new again, and all more wonderful than it had ever been before.

To state it quite bluntly, seeing as there\'s no point in keeping you from understanding what\'s going on: I was dying. My body was fighting a pointless war against an enemy that could never be killed nor held at bay, and I knew it. Every moment went by all too quickly, my mind replaying my short life before my eyes as I sat on the steps of my beach house, over looking white sands under a spectacularly beautiful blue sky. It was quite extraordinary. Not that it hadn\'t ever been a blue cloudless day before, but that it was one of my last. When I bought this house my reasons to choose it amongst any other specifically mainly revolved around the scenery. So, of course, I spent a good amount of time watching the sun set, the sunrise, and the breezy gorgeous days in between. This was different; this was a truly perfect day. I couldn\'t tell where the crystal-blue water ended and that glorious deep blue sky began. They just merged at some unseeable horizon.

I remember the view become blurry and hazy as my vision was interrupted by tears. This couldn\'t be happening to me, was my thought. Not me - It\'s simply not possible. But it was, and I was unable to do anything about it but wait and see. A disease that apparently no man had ever contracted previously was going to kill me. It was as if some God was insuring my second wish in life would never come true. I would die in my prime. I even remember thinking that I wouldn\'t even see the turn of the millennium. 2001... sounded like suddenly so far away now, thousands of years distant. It was presently March of 1992.

Everything in life became pointless and sacred at the same time. How I looked upon that world for those last precious days - I didn\'t want to leave it, but fighting and crying would do me no good. To be honest, life was always pointless, but with some kind of weird determination we all move forward. It\'s call instinct, and it really gets annoying some times. We struggle to live no matter how shoddy of a life we each live. People who live on the street and eat out of trashcans are direct examples of this. I was far from a bum, however.

I had a six-figure salary courtesy of my hard efforts at a computer-programming job near San Francisco. I had a house on the beach, as I\'ve already mentioned, right on the coast of the Pacific... I even had my own private ten acres of beautiful white sand and palms. The only other soul in that ten acres was my life-long companion, my first true wish in life, Robin. Oh God, I thought… Robin! She wasn\'t yet aware of the direction her life was going to suddenly turn in less than a few months time. She wasn\'t there that morning I received the phone call, she didn\'t know yet... and I remember thinking, I didn\'t have to tell her - Not yet. I could wait at least a week or two more so we could at least have that time together.

I sat on that beach for seven hours straight, contemplating what men contemplate, and just enjoying the reality of reality as it walked briskly by. Again, how ironic that sounds now.

That night I awoke to the face of an angel.

Shortly beforehand, I found myself walking in a place, a city. It\'s streets were crowded with millions of cars and sidewalks with thousands of people. The men were wearing identical business suits,