I Wish I Knew

I WISH I KNEW WHY

Broken families are often hard to live in. Especially divorced ones. It’s one thing for your parents to split-up when you’re a young child, but it’s another when you go through 15 years of your life thinking that you’ll always be a family like I did. I would have to say the most significant time in my life was when my parents were getting a divorce.

Christmas had just passed and the New Year of 1998 was approaching fast. My parents had always bickered but this time their fights seemed to escalate to almost a straight-out brawl. That night I was to go out on a date with my soon-to-be boyfriend. My dad didn’t think too highly of this. Hours passed as normal and I was leaving with my date to go to the movies. My mind was set at ease about my squalling parents as I watched Mortal Combat 2 at the theatre. When I got home my parents were already in bed and that’s where I was also headed. Before I had a chance to change into to pajamas the phone had rang. It was Chris the guy I had gone out with that night calling to reminisce about our fist date we had just been on. We talked for about two hours, growing tiresome and worried that my dad might get up for a drink of water and catch me on the phone at midnight, I told Chris I had to go. So I said my good-byes and went to bed thinking about how boring it was gonna be to go back to school the next day.

The irreparable mind-numbing sound of my alarm clock woke me up at my usual of 5:30a.m. Groggy and cold I made my way to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. At first glance everything was normal but a second look revealed that our computer was gone, not very surprised I made my way back down the hall to my sisters room. Shannon my sister was almost completely ready for school. Trying to sound calm I asked her,
“Shannon, um…. Where is the computer?” She didn’t appear surprised at all that I asked. “Mom took it with her when she left for work around 3:00a.m.” she said. “Oh… Why?” I replied. “Because her and dad got into another fight, but this time it wasn’t pretty.” “Oh?” I said. I had decided to call my mother to find out what happened and to ask if I could stay home because suddenly I wasn’t feeling well. She told me about her fight but said she would rather have us away from the house when my dad got home because when he finds out that the computer is gone he just going to be down right pissed.

Right about now it’s 5:40a.m. and my sister and I waited as my mother called a friend of hers from work to come pick us up and drop us off at their house for the day.
We get to my mom’s friends house unknowing what’s going to happen. Time passed so slowly that day but the last thing I wanted to think about was my dad. The final call I remember getting from my mom that day was a very shocking one. She asked whether my sister and I ever wanted to go back to my father. It took my sister and I hardly anytime to answer with the answer with the response of NO!

It makes you wonder what my family was really like. What could someone due to make a wife and 2 daughters want to leave for good. Well, to set your mind at ease from thoughts that run wild, my father was a very abusive man. If things didn’t go his way he got mean and often turned violent.

From that day to the present I have felt nothing but deceit and loneliness. My father, my real father, tried as hard as he could to make us feel sorry for him and to change my mother’s mind of “our” decision. Bribes and hurtful slurs are all I remember of him. I do miss him and still love him because he’s my blood and he gave me