Flint the Missing Link

Act 1 – Scene 1

Play begins in darkness. 2001 space odyssey music creeps up in volume and the Narrator’s voice is heard.

The lights slowly fade up to reveal a cave and its Neanderthal inhabitants.

Narrator: Many, Many thousands of years ago, at the dawn of man.

There was but one man. His name was Flint. Found abandoned in the bushes by god knows what he was taken in by a tribe of Neanderthals.

Neanderthals point and grunt in disapproval of the child who is ugly in their eyes.

Neanderthal #1: (Makes disgusted grunt) Look Brun…(gestures to baby) Grunt… Very Ugly Baby… Grunt

Neanderthal #2: … What we do with it? Leave it here? Maybe it bear monsters lunch.

Neanderthal #1: No tradition say we take babies as our own,

Neanderthal #2 walks up and picks up baby. (Doll)

Neanderthal #2: (making a bad smell gesture) Ewwww.. SMELLY BABY. No wonder bear monster no eat it.

Neanderthal #1: What we call it?

Neanderthal #2: Ugly smelly Baby need ugly smelly name, we call it Flint… Grunt…

Neanderthal #1: (Grunt in approval)

- Lights fade out -

Act 1 – Scene 2

Dark stage slowly fades in with two Neanderthals standing centre stage.

Narrator: As Flint grew older it became more and more apparent that he was very different from the Neanderthals in his tribe.

But no matter how different he was. It was tribe tradition that at the age of twelve every male in the tribe would undergo a test of man-hood.

Neanderthal #1: Egh.. Grug… Ugly Flint Boy soon be getting to Man-age. And tradition say…

Neanderthal #2: (Interrupting) Grah ha ha… he too small…Ugly Flint boy become lunch, not man.

Neanderthal #1: Yah, yarr… doesn’t matter, tradition say. Lunch or man he must take test. (Neanderthal taps the cave painting that depicts batter between man and beast).

Neanderthal #2: Yah.. (Yells off stage to Flint) Ugly flint boy, come here, (Grunts)

Flint Enters stage left.

Neanderthal #1: You… ugly, you… very small, but today you are man-age. This mean you must take man-test. (Points at Cave painting again)

Flint: (timidly) Man-test

Neanderthal #1: Yes… to be a man you must first take test that all boys of tribe take at man age you must tear apart mighty bear monster… with your bare hands

Neanderthal #2: Grah ha ha.. nice pun.

Neanderthal #1: Shut up Grug…(to Flint) it is time for man-test.

Neanderthal #1 picks flint up by the scruff of the neck and throws him out cave entrance (off stage right) followed by ferocious bear sound FX’s, Flint can be heard screaming whilst Neanderthals grimace at the sounds.

Flint stumbles back onstage bruised and bloody clutching bear fur in his teeth.

Neanderthal #2: What you doing back so soon? Bear monster still alive. You still alive. You must become Lunch or Man.

Neanderthal #1 & 2: (Chanting and stomping feet) Lunch or Man, Lunch or Man.

Neanderthal #1 kicks Flint back out of cave and previous bear-fight sound effects are repeated.

After some time flint returns with more scars crawling in out of breath.

Flint: (Weakly) I’m sorry… I couldn’t…

Neanderthal #1: (Shakes head) You not man, you not even make good lunch. You no good at all.

Neanderthal #2: Useless ugly flint boy, you fail man test, you not were man clothes. (Gestures to bear hide he is wearing)

Neanderthal #1: Tradition say you only can wear what you kill.

Neanderthal #1 & two exit stage left leaving Flint lying on the ground

- Lights fade out -

Act 1 - scene 3 Dark stage lights fade in while narrator talks. Flint siting down stage right chipping away at some flint.
Narrator: The next few years of Flint’s life were miserable. Although he tried several times to beat the bear monster he just couldn’t manage to tear one apart with his bear hands. So, he was forced to use what ever he could. Fortunately he managed to find a squirrel (Add lib) to wear. But he never gave up trying to devise ways to be accepted into the tribe.

Neanderthal #1 enters from stage right holding his prize from today’s hunt (Neanderthal 1’s costume would do)

Neanderthal #2: Hello little flint, is hide of mighty squirrel keep you warm? Graa… ha…