Divorce


Divorce rates in the United States have increased dramatically in the
past 25 years. Over 40 percent of the marriages among young Americans will end
in divorce. There is a lot of stress on all the people involved. The man has
to deal with, usually, not seeing his children, being alone, and the
responsibility that is accompanied with much of the legal process. The wife has
to go through, maybe, entering the work force for the first time. Children are
often viewed as a back burner issue but more often than none they are the center
piece of discussion. The children may begin feeling inadequate around their
friends and even in personal esteem. Feeling like it is their fault they might
get depressed or perhaps even rebellious. Regardless, divorce is an activity
that has become common place in today\'s family structure, behavior, and morality.


When two people meet and decide their love is strong enough to carry
them to the next level marriage is usually the out come. Sometimes they decide
to have children and sometimes they don\'t, but when they do, it usually brings
them closer together. All parents have desires and hopes for their children.
The way in which parents achieve these ends can differ. Researchers do not
agree on which of the child-raising practices is best. But it is known that
parents provide role models for their children and that children rely on their
parents to teach them about the world.

When a culture\'s values and traditions undergo a rapid change it becomes
difficult to decide which attitudes and beliefs children should be taught. As
one researcher has stated, “today\'s children are the first generation to be
raised amid doubt about the role prescriptions that have long gone unchallenged.
This makes their socialization especially difficult. Traditionally,
socialization was a process of raising the young to fill major roles in society
when the present incumbents vacated them. Yet today we do not know what type of
society our children will inherit, nor the roles for which they should be
prepared. ”(pp.34) Divorce along married couples is the most well-documented
and studied of the various ways relationships end. According to Dworetzky:

Divorce rates in the United States have increased dramatically in the
past 25 years. According to current assessments, over 40 percent of
marriages among young Americans will end in divorce, of the children born
in the last ten years, almost 50 percent will spend on an average of six
years in a one- parent household. Nine out of ten children will reside
with their mothers. Between 9 and 11million school-age children in the
United States live in one-parent families. About one-half of all divorces
occur within the first seven years of marriage with the first two to
three years being an especially vulnerable time period for
divorce.(pp.47-63) The actual rate of divorce may only represent a small amount
of the problem. It is unknown how many marriages end in non legal separations
or how many married people stay together in an empty, essentially dissolved,
relationship for the children\'s sake.

Of course, you do not have to be married to experience a separation from
a close relationship. “If we add to the official divorce rate the number of
cohabitation couples who break up, those who terminate their engagements to
marry, break-up, steady dating partner, or otherwise bow out of a relationship,
several million couples end intimate relationships each year.2”(pp.27-28,30)

So, why do people separate? Unmarried couples give us a number of
reasons for separation. In one study, researchers followed over 200 couples for
a three year period. “During this period of time, more that one-half of them
ended the relationship. Seventy-eight percent of the men and women listed
boredom as the major reason for the separation.(Kolata: pp, 42) Apparently
their romantic, passionate love had lost it\'s power and there was little else
between them. Couples reported other differences in several areas as caused for
breaking up, including differences in interests, hobbies, outside of the home
activities, religion, intelligence, and education. “Almost two-sixth percent of
the men and women felt their sexual attitudes contributed to the separation.
Arguments about the frequency and types of sexual activities became major
barriers to living happily together.3”(pp.139-160)
Among married couples, similar issues are the reason why people have
other problems. An important wife should stay with in the traditional roles;
that is, the man earns a living and the wife stays home and takes care of the
house. There are conflicts when women begin having different desires. “In
addition, when married women work, they are still expected to do more than their
fair share of household and childbearing chores. In effect, they