"Choose Not to Judge"
My dear sisters,
I want to talk to you about us, women, and how wonderful and special each of us is. We come in different shapes, sizes and colors, but we are all unique, strong, and valuable. Each of us have different points of views and make different choices in our lives; choices that each of us as intelligent individuals make, because they are what better fits our lives and lifestyles.
Some of us identify themselves as feminist, and that is great. I myself identify as feminist, but let's look at what feminism is, f eminism by definition is: "The belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes." CITATION Mer16 \l 1033 (Merrian-Webster) . For many years we fought to be treated with respect, to not be judge by society based on the choices we make, to be able to study, to work and to vote.
I questioned myself; on why do I keep hearing 18 to 20 something years old girls calling themselves feminist, and judging other women for wanting to have children, or for choosing to stay at home to care for their children. How is it possible to be a feminist, when you are not respecting the choices other women make? When you are judging them and telling them how submissive and structured by society they are. How they are an embarrassment to generations of women who fought not to be just at home caring for a house and for their children.
I respect you don't want to have children, that you made the choice for your life to be child-free, and that is perfectly fine. Pursue your career, travel the world, there are many places to see; if this is what you want, do it. It is a respectable choice, but you need to be courteous of other fellow women and respect their choices. I know when you are in your early twenties; you start to find out who you are and what you want.
I was there once; when I said "I would never get married" and "I would never have a kid" those options weren't for me at that time. Time went by and I had the chance to marry the love of my life, and without blinking I did it. I was still skeptical about having kids; until a year ago my best friend gave birth to a beautiful angel, and when I saw this little human so innocent and fragile, I fell in love. At that moment, I realized that everything I thought about having kids didn't mean anything to me anymore. I just wanted a little angel of my own. I am not planning to have kids yet; I want to finish my career first, but now I have the certainty that I want to have children, and do you know what? It is okay, and that is just me, it's probably not for you or your purpose in life, and I salute you for that. For being empowered to do what you want to do in life, for that reason you don't have to look down upon those women who have chosen to have kids or to stay home.
I know you are also being judge by other women for deciding not to have kids. "The child-free have come out of the tributaries of society in the last 10 to 15 years, but the childfree choice is still not totally accepted as an equally valid choice as the choice to have children," explains Laura Carroll, author of   The Baby Matrix ( LiveTrue Books 2012), which examines pronatalism , the set of social and cultural beliefs that influence how we think about parenthood. Here I come to defend you as well; women not having children by a certain age have always been frowned upon and this isn't right. I agree that parenthood is a beautiful thing, but it should also be a well thought-out choice, definitely not an obligation. It is you choice, it is what fits your life best, and it is what you want to do. You have